said:
Transgender girl says she is rejected by straight guys for 'having male parts'
Part of me wants to make this a joke, but it's way too serious to do so.
It seems to claim victimhood for the "TG girl" and paints the "straight boys" as the bad guys.
Frankly, I don't know how to cut into this hot mess. Are we going to reach a point where we have to tattoo kid's foreheads with a description of both their current "gender" and physical "attributes"?
Although it's been decades since I've been on the dating scene, I'm not dead yet. I can see why a cisgendered person (female or male) would never want a sexual relationship with a transgendered person, just like they could have no interest in a homosexual relationship. That's not hate or homophobia--it's just that, well, to use a phrase from the LGBT folks: They were born that way.
I have to put this straight...
Get Real.
I have Kids looking for romance, all of them, although bought up in a open minded way, are looking for "straight" relationship, and so are their cousins, and mostly the same of their circle of friends.
I say Mostly, we can come back to that in a moment.
The joke has been made of "ladyboys", they watched a film where this was bought up and questioned us parents about that.
Yes its real, yes its a part of some mostly asian cultures, yes you do have to be aware.
All of them hid their revulsion quite well.
I can tell, I am the Dad...?..
So you pick up a "10" and find out "she" is better at chasing a dog-end down the toilet better than you can?
One of mine put it quite honestly and well, just how do you get physical?. If you aint into "backdoor" sex, and excuse me for being graphic here, but its the question my Kid asked, then well, you cant have sex can you?.
And as most relationships get to that stage...........
Lets set this out, one of my past and present greatest friends is Audrey/Andy, he is a Transvestite, bloody good at his job, but on weekends, he is she, and frequents the clubs where they are accepted.
Where his/her sense of humour makes his one of the more popular people.
But he is totally honest and up front about it all, and goes looking for love in the places where its "acceptable", and is old enough now to know you don just "Hit the street and see what happens"
He knows if he wanders into the wrong part of town and chats up the wrong "straight", then he is liable to be hurt, as most straight guys do not like being chatted up by this "third sex", going back to the start of this thread even, most straight people, male OR female, would not even consider homophobic relationships, "we are not built that way", and please dont question our sexuality, we dont need to tell you who we are.
Andy/Audrey has learnt that as long as you do not challenge peoples sexuality and just get on with being who you are, most people will actually accept you for who you are, gladly, its not as if the whole of the world is Homophobic, 90% are definitely friendly, its just the "few" that may be a problem, with maybe 1 in 1,000 who will be a troublemaker.
Against that, there is far more sexist pigs in the world, and in truth, transgender are less of a problem than Racial tension.
But all that stops short when you fond out that the person chatting you up at the bar is the same sex as you are.
Especially if they hide it.
"There are places where that is acceptable, there is a gay quarter in Manchester, thats where you should go for that, so dont come here doing that."..?...
Now the part I said I would come back to...
One or two of my Kids friends are of doubtful sexuality.
Once it has been made plain what my Kids are, they see no problem from that, and they remain friends.
However...
There is always one.
It is hot topic at the moment on that "one", who born female and chosen to be "bi" has now decided to go "I wanna be a boy" and has adopted a boys name.
It all went well until she adopted that boys name, because they keep forgetting.
And now they are avoiding her, because she is "Trying too hard"?.. 'nuf said?.
Conclusion,
If you want to be different, accept that there will be problems, and some people will find problems with that.
If you want to come to my end of the street and learn how to do Rock Climbing, your going to end up with bruised knuckles, knees, elbows, rope burns on various parts when you fall off and have to be swung back down again, and probably some sore parts where you didnt know you could be sore...
No one said it was easy.
Some people will question why you want to spend a whole day doing a rock face when there is a perfectly good path that takes an hour to get up the side of that face, they will never understand will they?.
Some people will say you shouldnt do it anyway, there is no acceptable circumstances why you should want to try, they just dont get it do they?.
And for every thousand people you invite to come enjoy the sport, you may get one or two who go up a face, maybe 100 who say "Maybe someday", and 900 "Definitely NOT" some are scared, some genuinely do not want ever to try that.
Who are you to lambast them or criticise them?.
As long as they do not attack you for suggesting they try, insult you, or make trouble, they have expressed a preference, and they are free to do that.
So if you want to go out and make major changes in your life, go, go do that, but there will be problems.
Many people will object.
But then again, I bet I get more people hating me each day for driving a large truck in front of them.
So count yourself lucky that you can make that choice.
And as I say, there is a part of our City that has been designated LGBT friendly, if you want love, look there, because its guaranteed you wont get rejected.
There is a part of every major city in the world that is like this.
Even in places where its illegal... you just got to know where to look...
In Manchester?.. In truth, if you leave there without finding love, whatever flavour your into, then you aint really trying.
I know, I went there for a pint or two with Andy one evening after a hard days work, and I got approached several times.
It didnt offend me in any way, so I made a excuse that I was already partnered to not offend them and was just here for the beer tonight...
I also am a regular part of the scene, known to many of not all the landlords, because I occasionally do Dray work delivering the beer.
And they have sussed my sense of humour, so we all have a good laugh to help the day along?.
As for my kids?.. I tell them the truth, I was 33 before I found their Mum, it wasnt for lack of trying, but I never found "The right one", when you do, you will know, so be patient.
They are taking that advice under caution... as kids do...
They will find, but, meanwhile, they get a lot of promises that lead nowhere.
I think anybody with gender sysphoria should have ongoing counseling until they reach a stable identity. - which includes being sure they have realistic expectations of what a sexual relationship will be for them.
Its not a short journey, it takes time, well, if its that major a change, you should accept that.
It took 15 years for medical science to catch up with my Back problems.
I managed to wait...
Kids these days have no patience do they?. they want it all, and they want it now, and cant abide the prospect of having to wait.