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Post by OziRiS on Aug 11, 2013 11:13:22 GMT
Ever tapped him on the shoulder just as another passenger is walking through the cart and gone: "DUDE! They're on to you! RUN!!!"? LOL! No. No one’s done anything like that in case he’s dangerous & turns on them, but yesterday a teenage boy (I’d say he was about 15 at the most) chucked a half-eaten apple at the back of his head while he was in the middle of one of his rants. He turned around & DEMANDED to know who did it but no one said a thing – but he was quite for the rest of the trip. When he got off at his stop everyone turned to the boy & congratulated him for doing something we all had wanted to do to that guy for a very long time. Maybe the nutter has FINALLY gotten the message & hopefully when I get on my train on Tuesday he won’t be ranting his brain (what little he has of it) off during my morning commute. Not to be a kill-joy or anything, but has anyone on that train ever considered that the guy might need psychiatric help instead of rolling eyes and helf eaten apples in the back of his head? He sounds like he's in serious need of a shrink and some medication.
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Post by Lex Of Sydney Australia on Aug 11, 2013 11:37:36 GMT
LOL! No. No one’s done anything like that in case he’s dangerous & turns on them, but yesterday a teenage boy (I’d say he was about 15 at the most) chucked a half-eaten apple at the back of his head while he was in the middle of one of his rants. He turned around & DEMANDED to know who did it but no one said a thing – but he was quite for the rest of the trip. When he got off at his stop everyone turned to the boy & congratulated him for doing something we all had wanted to do to that guy for a very long time. Maybe the nutter has FINALLY gotten the message & hopefully when I get on my train on Tuesday he won’t be ranting his brain (what little he has of it) off during my morning commute. Not to be a kill-joy or anything, but has anyone on that train ever considered that the guy might need psychiatric help instead of rolling eyes and helf eaten apples in the back of his head? He sounds like he's in serious need of a shrink and some medication. I did ask on of my fellow commuters this question & he has been officially checked out by the cops & social services after more than a few complaints by people. They said he was completely sane & as freedom of speech isn’t illegal. & that no matter how much he annoyed the rest of us he did have the right to go on his rants. As they weren’t ‘technically’ harming anyone & he wasn’t saying anything racist or inflammatory. All we could do was politely ask him to shut up – which we did & he didn’t. When we asked him he claimed were all mindless sheep that will just follow & do what were told & we are too scared to speak out for ourselves. & that we’re trying to kill freedom of speech just like the government. Basically he’s just an ultra-left wing conspiracy ‘nutter’ who thinks ‘Big Brother’ is more than just a TV show. To be honest I don’t care if he wants to go on a rant - just don’t do it on the train when I’m on my way to work this is my daily ‘chill out time'. I just want to sit down, read my book & drink my coffee before I have to deal with hordes of *CENSOREDS* all day long. Is that too much to ask? I just hope like Sir Isaac he’s had his ‘Eureka’ moment with this apple, & realised we’ve all had a gut full of him & his bloody rants.
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Post by OziRiS on Aug 11, 2013 11:42:08 GMT
Fair enough then. Just thought it was a question that needed to be asked. If the guy was in need of help I just thought it would be sad if he didn't get it because people were more preoccupied with being annoyed. With that clearly out of the way, chuck as much partially eaten fruit at the loon as you'd like. If he complains, just say you have the blessing of a Dane
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Post by Lex Of Sydney Australia on Aug 11, 2013 14:14:19 GMT
Fair enough then. Just thought it was a question that needed to be asked. If the guy was in need of help I just thought it would be sad if he didn't get it because people were more preoccupied with being annoyed. With that clearly out of the way, chuck as much partially eaten fruit at the loon as you'd like. If he complains, just say you have the blessing of a Dane So many potential jokes here & so little time.
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Post by The Urban Mythbuster on Aug 12, 2013 12:56:18 GMT
Fair enough then. Just thought it was a question that needed to be asked. If the guy was in need of help I just thought it would be sad if he didn't get it because people were more preoccupied with being annoyed. With that clearly out of the way, chuck as much partially eaten fruit at the loon as you'd like. If he complains, just say you have the blessing of a Dane So many potential jokes here & so little time. I might as well kick things off... Could toss a couple dog biscuits & say a Great Dane told you to...
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Post by OziRiS on Aug 12, 2013 14:36:43 GMT
So many potential jokes here & so little time. I might as well kick things off... Could toss a couple dog biscuits & say a Great Dane told you to... MARMADUUUUKE!!!
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Post by Lex Of Sydney Australia on Aug 13, 2013 2:44:05 GMT
So many potential jokes here & so little time. I might as well kick things off... Could toss a couple dog biscuits & say a Great Dane told you to... What the? I don't get it.
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Post by The Urban Mythbuster on Aug 13, 2013 3:37:53 GMT
Oziris said: With that clearly out of the way, chuck as much partially eaten fruit at the loon as you'd like. If he complains, just say you have the blessing of a Dane
As a play off that statement, I said: Could toss a couple dog biscuits & say a Great Dane told you to.
It would be a double entendre: Referring to Oziris as a Great Dane, but also referring to the dog breed (hence the biscuits).
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Post by GTCGreg on Aug 13, 2013 4:20:17 GMT
So, has anyone heard any good jokes lately?
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Post by freegan on Aug 13, 2013 5:15:23 GMT
So, has anyone heard any good jokes lately? No but I heard this one decades ago. A guy on his way home from work decides to take some chill time in a bar. On his way through the door he's grabbed by the collar and hauled back. He turns to see a nun in full habit who proceeds to lecture him on the evils of drink. Tiring of the tirade, he asks "Have you ever had a drink?" Taken aback she admits she hasn't. "Well you don't know what you're talking about, do you?" he retorts. "Come in and have a nip. It might calm you down a bit." "Oh no. How would it look? A nun in a drinking establishment?" she responds. "Then I'll bring one out to you." he argues. "What a nun drinking in public view? That would never do." "Alright," he persists, "I'll have the barman put it in a coffee mug." She apparently has no counterargument for that so he continues. "What would you like? My treat." Softening, she responds "I've no idea. What do ladies drink? "Martinis?" he suggests. "Oh. That sounds classy. If you really don't mind?" she concedes. "Wait there." he commands and strides in the door and up to the bar. "What'll you have?" inquires the bartender. "A beer for me and can I have a martini in a coffee mug?" The bartender throws down his towel and through gritted teeth asks, "She's out there again isn't she?"
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Post by The Urban Mythbuster on Aug 13, 2013 13:14:31 GMT
A man has been driving through the desert for hours when he notices a sign that says: "Sisters of Mercy House of Ill Repute. Ten miles ahead."
He shakes his head thinking it's a mirage.
A few minutes later, he sses a sign that says: "Sisters of Mercy House of Ill Repute. Five miles ahead."
Again, he thinks that it must be a mirage.
He continues driving and notices signs that says: "Sisters of Mercy House of Ill Repute. Two miles ahead." & "Sisters of Mercy House of Ill Repute. One mile ahead."
As he travels on, there is a sign that says: ""Sisters of Mercy House of Ill Repute. 500 feet ahead on the right."
A minute later, he sees a rather ornate house at the location that the sign pointed to. Feeling quite confused, he decides to stop and find out what's going on.
He knocks on the door and the Mother Superior answers it.
She instructs him to go to the hall and knock on the second door to the left.
He knocks on the door and a nun answers holding a box saying "Place $500 donation here to receive further instructions."
He puts the money in the box and the nun instructs to go through the door at the end of the hall.
He goes down the hall, opens the door, & finds himself outside in front of a sign that says: "You have officially been screwed by the Sisters of Mercy."
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Post by Lex Of Sydney Australia on Aug 13, 2013 13:58:46 GMT
Oziris said: With that clearly out of the way, chuck as much partially eaten fruit at the loon as you'd like. If he complains, just say you have the blessing of a Dane As a play off that statement, I said: Could toss a couple dog biscuits & say a Great Dane told you to. It would be a double entendre: Referring to Oziris as a Great Dane, but also referring to the dog breed (hence the biscuits). Ah I see said the blind man (just kidding! ) Sorry I didn't read the posts properly due to a lack of sleep. Next door has a new 3 am air raid siren aka new baby. Its cute but NOT when it wakes me @ 3am. I don't know what's going on in my block but all the women seem to be getting pregnant at the moment - must be something in the water.
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Post by OziRiS on Aug 13, 2013 20:33:17 GMT
I don't know what's going on in my block but all the women seem to be getting pregnant at the moment - must be something in the water. Uhm... Eew!
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Post by c64 on Aug 13, 2013 20:49:41 GMT
So, has anyone heard any good jokes lately? Several, but they are all against the board rules!
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Post by c64 on Aug 13, 2013 21:05:52 GMT
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Post by OziRiS on Aug 13, 2013 21:48:59 GMT
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City. Women can go there to find themselves their very own partner for life. The following instructions are posted at the entrance:
"Welcome to the Husband Store
- You may visit this store only once in your life. - There are six floors. - The value of the “products” will increase for each floor you go up. - You may choose one product on a floor or you may choose to go to the floor above it. - You may not go down again, except to leave the store.
We hope you enjoy your visit and find what you are looking for."
A woman goes into the store to find herself a husband. When she gets to the door of the first floor there's a sign saying:
"1st Floor - These men have steady jobs"
She's interested, but decides to go to the next floor. The sign there says:
"2nd Floor - These men have steady jobs and they love children"
"That's good", she thinks to herself. "But I want more", so she goes to the third floor where the signs says:
"3rd Floor - These men have steady jobs, love children and are extremely good looking"
"Oh my!", she thinks, but still feels the need to keep going.
At the door on the fourth floor the sign says:
"4th Floor - These men have steady jobs, love children, are extremely good looking and help out around the house"
"Oh Lord, give me strength! I can't stand it!", she says. She decides to press on to the fifth floor anyway where the sign says:
"5th Floor - These men have steady jobs, love children, are extremely good looking, help out around the house and are both wealthy and romantic"
She's so incredibly tempted to stop here and go in, but she decides against it and goes on to the final floor. She's almost bursting with anticipation when she arrives at the door and rushes to the sign to read it:
"Welcome to the 6th Floor - You are visitor number 31,456,012. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists only to prove that women are impossible to satisfy.
Thank you for visiting the Husband Store."
So as not to be accused of sexism, the store owner opened a "New Wife Store" across the road. It follows the same basic concept.
The first floor has women who love sex. 72% of all shoppers stop here.
The second floor has women who love sex, are wealthy and like beer.
The remaining four floors have never had a visitor.
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Post by Lex Of Sydney Australia on Sept 10, 2013 6:48:02 GMT
I found this gem on Facebook. It’s an old joke but the thing that makes it funny is who's telling it.ENJOY!
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Post by c64 on Sept 10, 2013 19:39:53 GMT
Too bad that I can't tell this joke to anybody…
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Post by The Urban Mythbuster on Sept 10, 2013 20:18:47 GMT
A proton and an electron walk into a bar. The proton immediately starts having a great time while the electron is just standing around having a miserable time. So, the proton says to the electron: "Why do always have to be so negative?"
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Post by c64 on Sept 11, 2013 20:23:52 GMT
WATT is the unit of power?
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