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Post by c64 on May 22, 2014 12:32:03 GMT
My mum does both versions! And when she changes subject and you fail to follow, she calls you schizophrenic. I'm guessing she also does the bit where she suddenly cuts into the middle of someone else's conversation with something completely random and obscure? For instance, you could be in the middle of a discussion about local politics and she chimes in with: "I bought bananas on sale today", reminiscent of some 4-year old who decides she hasn't been given enough attention for a while. Sound familiar? More than familiar! I know that the usual "more coffee?" is fully normal but listing the entire table contents, the contents of the fridge and whatever is stored in the cellar, too and waiting until the normal conversation had started again for each item sure isn't normal! When I had installed a telephone branch exchange and installed a phone on every floor, my dad thought it was unnecessary. Now whenever he calls, he picks a phone at the other end of the house from where my mum is. For tech support he often locks himself into the bathroom with his laptop and cell phone.
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Post by OziRiS on May 22, 2014 13:08:01 GMT
I knew she sounded too much like my mom, my grandmother and my mother-in-law to not do that one too
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Post by Cybermortis on May 22, 2014 13:43:10 GMT
My mum does both versions! And when she changes subject and you fail to follow, she calls you schizophrenic. I'm guessing she also does the bit where she suddenly cuts into the middle of someone else's conversation with something completely random and obscure? For instance, you could be in the middle of a discussion about local politics and she chimes in with: "I bought bananas on sale today", reminiscent of some 4-year old who decides she hasn't been given enough attention for a while. Sound familiar? My Mums favourite trick, and one that I've picked up, was to shatter someone's ego with a quip delivered out of the blue. One of my Uncles, who has a large ego, used to be a frequent victim of this; Proud Aunt in Law; 'He's a diamond' {Uncle puffs up} Mum; 'He's cold hard and transparent?' {Uncle deflates} *** Uncle at my 20th birthday; 'You realise you are halfway up the hill?' Me; 'So what's the view like from halfway down the other side?' *** For reasons unknown my Mum once sent to be do something called Raki (sp), basically where someone waves their hands over you to make you better. This was to take place early in the morning, and when I was picked up by this guy and he asked me what I knew I automatically answered E=MC2. This prompted a forty minute lecture on 'cosmic vibrations' or some such (I was still half asleep at this point). What I do remember is him turning to me after saying that everything vibrated and telling me that he could see I was a giant vibrator. (I somehow managed to keep a straight face) When I got home my Mum was there with a friend of hers, and naturally asked how thinks had gone. I told them about the vibrator comment, at which point Mum's friend nearly fell of her chair laughing. Mum, just as amused but not willing to admit it; 'Well, it seems to have worked you look a lot more relaxed' 'Well that's because I just shoved two batteries up my ass' Mums friend at this point was literally crying with laughter, while my Mum tried and failed to look offended. Mum's friend reaches into her hangbag for a hankie to wipe the tears with...only to pull out an argyle sock. At this point she did fall off the chair laughing.
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Post by the light works on May 22, 2014 14:50:01 GMT
Then there is the classic Mum moment; 'You remember {insert random name(s) here} don't you?' 'Who?' 'You remember' 'No, I really don't' 'Yes you do. You've met them' 'And I was HOW old at the time?' 'About three' 'And how many times?' 'Twice' My mother-in-law does that, except she does it with people that she just assumes we all know but none of us have actually met or even heard of. Me: "I need a new lawn mower." Her: "Karen's husband Kent has a new one that he bought by mistake. Maybe you can get it cheap from him." Me: "Karen...? Karen who...?" And she'll get angry too: Her: "Yes, KAREN!!! From down the street in number 28!!! The skinny one with the lazy eye!!!" Me: "Never met her..." Father-in-law: "I didn't know there was a Karen on our street..." Her: "You're all idiots!!!" Turned out "Karen" was someone who'd just moved into number 28 two weeks earlier who she'd met at the grocery store on the very day of this conversation. She had litterally only known this person for about 4 hours before this conversation took place and still, she expected every one of us to know who she was talking about. at least you get SOME specifics. on TV it would be "that girl" (What girl, I know several girls) "you know, that girl with the thing."
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Post by c64 on May 22, 2014 15:15:03 GMT
My mother-in-law does that, except she does it with people that she just assumes we all know but none of us have actually met or even heard of. Me: "I need a new lawn mower." Her: "Karen's husband Kent has a new one that he bought by mistake. Maybe you can get it cheap from him." Me: "Karen...? Karen who...?" And she'll get angry too: Her: "Yes, KAREN!!! From down the street in number 28!!! The skinny one with the lazy eye!!!" Me: "Never met her..." Father-in-law: "I didn't know there was a Karen on our street..." Her: "You're all idiots!!!" Turned out "Karen" was someone who'd just moved into number 28 two weeks earlier who she'd met at the grocery store on the very day of this conversation. She had litterally only known this person for about 4 hours before this conversation took place and still, she expected every one of us to know who she was talking about. at least you get SOME specifics. on TV it would be "that girl" (What girl, I know several girls) "you know, that girl with the thing." Not just on TV.
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Post by the light works on May 22, 2014 15:25:43 GMT
at least you get SOME specifics. on TV it would be "that girl" (What girl, I know several girls) "you know, that girl with the thing." Not just on TV. I do have times I tell someone, "you are going to have to be more specific."
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Post by silverdragon on May 23, 2014 7:09:10 GMT
My Mother..... Dont get me started about my Mother. She is the usual Mother-in-law, but she is MY mother.....
My Mother KNOWS without fail that I absolutely HATE all BBC period drama's. Especially costume ones. You know the expensive blow-the-forklift-budget ones that the BBC makes?... I hate them with vengeance because they have fork-all left to make proper programs.... Yet I, who DONT watch them, still gotta pay the licence fee. Strange, the historically correct ones other makers do for other channels are not so bad...
Reason for hate?... the script writers absolute disregard for truth when dodging awkward REAL TRUTH facts about period events...
Anyway, My Mum... "You saw Downton abbey last night"... I dont watch that. Why? You KNOW why. But its such a good program... Mum, why we got to go through this again... you know I dont go to opera's as well.... You are missing so much. You dont watch discovery channels do you?.. did you see the one on Tutankhamen (or any other Egyptian deity) last night?...
(This is the kryptonite, my Mother was a teacher, one of her specialities was Egyptian history....)
My Mother always "Suggests" things I might like to watch... Not because they may be good for me, but because it gives HER something to talk to me about?... Its Formula 1 weekend, Monaco, can all of you please get up to speed on the fact they have already run a series of historic car races on that track, from pre WW2 cars to late 80's cars.... because that is what I want to talk about.... RIGHT. It would bore the skin of a few of you, and for that reason, I know better than to ask.... But my Mum doesnt get that. Or doesnt WANT to get that.
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Post by the light works on May 23, 2014 14:15:18 GMT
My Mother..... Dont get me started about my Mother. She is the usual Mother-in-law, but she is MY mother..... My Mother KNOWS without fail that I absolutely HATE all BBC period drama's. Especially costume ones. You know the expensive blow-the-forklift-budget ones that the BBC makes?... I hate them with vengeance because they have fork-all left to make proper programs.... Yet I, who DONT watch them, still gotta pay the licence fee. Strange, the historically correct ones other makers do for other channels are not so bad... Reason for hate?... the script writers absolute disregard for truth when dodging awkward REAL TRUTH facts about period events... Anyway, My Mum... "You saw Downton abbey last night"... I dont watch that. Why? You KNOW why. But its such a good program... Mum, why we got to go through this again... you know I dont go to opera's as well.... You are missing so much. You dont watch discovery channels do you?.. did you see the one on Tutankhamen (or any other Egyptian deity) last night?... (This is the kryptonite, my Mother was a teacher, one of her specialities was Egyptian history....) My Mother always "Suggests" things I might like to watch... Not because they may be good for me, but because it gives HER something to talk to me about?... Its Formula 1 weekend, Monaco, can all of you please get up to speed on the fact they have already run a series of historic car races on that track, from pre WW2 cars to late 80's cars.... because that is what I want to talk about.... RIGHT. It would bore the skin of a few of you, and for that reason, I know better than to ask.... But my Mum doesnt get that. Or doesnt WANT to get that. for an accurate commentary on the merits of Downton Abbey: Mrs TLW likes it. as I've said before - that is why I have such a huge psot count.
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Post by silverdragon on May 24, 2014 8:23:42 GMT
And there was us thinking you had too much time on your hands.....
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Post by the light works on May 24, 2014 9:27:14 GMT
And there was us thinking you had too much time on your hands..... all the time she spends watching shows I don't like. and in between calls on duty night (friday nights, like now)
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Post by silverdragon on May 24, 2014 9:48:31 GMT
Current time is 10:45 am (BST) Saturday?.. its STILL friday night there?...
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Post by the light works on May 24, 2014 9:52:57 GMT
Current time is 10:45 am (BST) Saturday?.. its STILL friday night there?... technically, it is Saturday morning. 0252
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Post by silverdragon on May 24, 2014 9:55:14 GMT
That puts you 8 hrs behind us here.
Anyway, I gotta go, have a good whats left of the night, I have family matters to deal with....
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Post by mrfatso on May 27, 2014 0:02:28 GMT
My Mother..... Dont get me started about my Mother. She is the usual Mother-in-law, but she is MY mother..... My Mother KNOWS without fail that I absolutely HATE all BBC period drama's. Especially costume ones. You know the expensive blow-the-forklift-budget ones that the BBC makes?... I hate them with vengeance because they have fork-all left to make proper programs.... Yet I, who DONT watch them, still gotta pay the licence fee. Strange, the historically correct ones other makers do for other channels are not so bad... Reason for hate?... the script writers absolute disregard for truth when dodging awkward REAL TRUTH facts about period events... Anyway, My Mum... "You saw Downton abbey last night"... I dont watch that. Why? You KNOW why. But its such a good program... One good thing about it is that the BBC is not who makes Downton Abbey, it's a ITV program so no worries about the Licence Fee, but I know what you mean, about annoying programs like the BBC Merlin, with ethnic characters in it to be politically correct.
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Post by the light works on May 27, 2014 4:19:49 GMT
One good thing about it is that the BBC is not who makes Downton Abbey, it's a ITV program so no worries about the Licence Fee, but I know what you mean, about annoying programs like the BBC Merlin, with ethnic characters in it to be politically correct. on the other end of the spectrum is Top Gear, which is good wholesome entertainment.
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Post by silverdragon on May 27, 2014 8:58:47 GMT
Hmmm... maybe not for much longer.
There are whispers that Top Gear is becoming "Toxic"
Now seriously, its all down to negativity. If a program looses a million viewers, thats serious?.... If the program has 30 million viewers, is it THAT serious?...
If that 1 million disappeared on ONE NIGHT because the final of something or other was on BBC1 that night, is if fair to make that measurement?....
If Jeremy Clarkson is called Racist for something he DID NOT say, in fact REFUSED to say, even complained to the editors about its inclusion in the script, why does that make him "Toxic"......
Either way, rumours abound that TG has a expire by date. Even though there is a 5yr waiting list to go be in the audience..... (And yes, I am in that waiting list)
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Post by GTCGreg on May 27, 2014 13:27:37 GMT
Not sure what any of this to do has with Adam's hearing problem but I was never a big TG fan, but I'm so sick of all this PC crap that I may start watching it just to show my support for Clarkson.
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Post by OziRiS on May 27, 2014 13:39:13 GMT
Not sure what any of this to do has with Adam's hearing problem but I was never a big TG fan, but I'm so sick of all this PC crap that I may start watching it just to show my support for Clarkson. Let's just say that sometimes the world would be better off if certain people were deaf and couldn't get it fixed with a hearing aid. If they can't hear what's being said, they can't complain about it.
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Post by the light works on May 27, 2014 13:41:10 GMT
Hmmm... maybe not for much longer. There are whispers that Top Gear is becoming "Toxic" Now seriously, its all down to negativity. If a program looses a million viewers, thats serious?.... If the program has 30 million viewers, is it THAT serious?... If that 1 million disappeared on ONE NIGHT because the final of something or other was on BBC1 that night, is if fair to make that measurement?.... If Jeremy Clarkson is called Racist for something he DID NOT say, in fact REFUSED to say, even complained to the editors about its inclusion in the script, why does that make him "Toxic"...... Either way, rumours abound that TG has a expire by date. Even though there is a 5yr waiting list to go be in the audience..... (And yes, I am in that waiting list) well, how long has it been running? I'm sure there are those who would love to have a crack at the record. Clarkson is an arrogant mouthy buffoon, that is why the audience loves him.
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Post by Cybermortis on May 27, 2014 14:16:06 GMT
Depends on how you look at it. The first season of Top Gear was back in, wait for it, 1977. The series was then 'rebooted' in 2002 - although if you look at the dates there wasn't exactly a huge gap between the 'original' and 'rebooted' series as the 'original' series ended in 2001.
Clarkson has been with the show since, again wait for it, 1988. So he's been on the show for just over a quarter of a century.
And no, none of this has anything to do with the OP.
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