Social people are mentally healthier.

Depends on the person. Are you an introvert/extrovert? I can't think of any way to quantify this myth to be able to test it?

Possible "Test", get a psychologist type person to measure mental health.

Measure a number of known introverts with a close set of friends.
Measure a real party-person who is always "out" with friends.

Who is the healthiest.

I say possible.... although I have no idea if this test is at all viable.....
Some people are much happier on their own.

Its an interesting thought train to try and catch.
Just why do people "Say" that you need friends?.... and sooooo many of them as well?.....

I have always found keep a few Good friends close.

The type of friends you need are the ones that will say "Sure, be there in ten" when you phone, wont ask why, will just pitch in and help, and there is an unspoken agreement that the reverse will happen, there will be times when they need you, and all they have to do is phone.... no one is counting, and beer lubricates the ability to not count either.....
And of course, when it comes to sharing a crate of beer, you are first on the invite list....
Of course, if its ladies, thats lambrini isnt it?....


So, why do people need "As many as possible" numbers of friends?....
"I have got more than you"...?....Is it that competitive?...
Is it a fake-book thing?....
Is social media responsible for accelerating this myth beyond the acceptable "Keep a few good friends" to the need to have as many as possible and boast about it on a social media site that is only responsible for teaching you how easy it is to share an argument and that arguments spread faster than good news.







Notae
During this post, I have fought long and hard to spell friends....
Why is it that I keep trying to type it frei instead of ie?...
Is this just a dyslexia thing or do other people have problems with that word?...

Being I have spent a good many hours behind the bar, there is more people that know me than I can easily count.
Yes they are "Friends", but are they close friends?...

One of the reasons you never EVER take over a bar where you live, too many people know you...
And expect preferential treatment?...

But how many of your "Friends" actually know the real you.

A Friend of mine once told me "There comes a time in all relationships when you just have to say NO!"....
He's bloody well right.



I do not ask.... but I do understand the point.
I always treat everyone friendly until they prove unworthy....
The bit about being cornered, Barman's trick, plan your escape.
Which is why Ex-Forces people make good barmen, they know the escapes before they start working, its in the training.
My Missus knows the signs, and can tell me in a heartbeat that a Barrel needs changing, or some other excuse, to free me from someone who buttonholes you at the bar.... we have our own language....
I meet people who try to go over conversational when I am driving and delivering, I am always "I would love to stay and chat but I am pushed for time, I really got to go"

And the pub Bore?... the reason your congregation disappear quicker than politicians promises is they have seen you get cornered and escape before your protagonist picks on them.....
I have seen this happen so many times its quite funny to see a whole room of people trying to manoeuvre round each other to get away from the pub bore.....

My trick, if I can avoid serving them until someone else is waiting, then I have no time to stand and chat, or I have a set of glasses in the dishwasher that needs putting away, or a set that needs going in, or a shelf that needs dismantling for a clean, or a sticky drip tray that needs a scrub, or that gas problem on the barrel, or I have to do a stock check, or 'Fred', the secretary of the Snooker team has just come in and I need to find out where the next match is, ......

If you recognise any of the above being the reason why the local bar staff is a bit busy to talk to you, then you may be the pub bore?...

Of course, take that with a pinch of salt, sometimes those things really do need doing.
Which is why they are so good as excuses.....

Avoiding the local bore takes a life time of practise, but can be done so smoothly, no one notices.

As for how many people think me as a friend, I would hope all of the regulars would.
But I would also hope that they know its a limited friendship....
They are welcome to talk to me in the street, but I wouldnt expect them to visit the house for coffee?...

Friends come in layers
There is people you know who you talk to in the street or shops or such.
There are people who you seek out in a crowd to sit and talk to.
There are those that seek you out and know they will be welcome.
There are people who come to your house
There are people who stay for a meal
then there are people who you treat as "Family".
You cant pick your blood family, but you can add a Brother or Sister that the rest of the family do not need to know about.

I say this with the basis that my Family are not my Friends.... I have not been in contact with one side of the family since they "Forgot" to invite me to my Grandmothers funeral.....
Thats fin, I find out she died when the Solicitors for her Will contacted me.
I mistakenly also "Forgot" not quite on purpose to invite them to my Wedding.....

Some things you cant forgive.

And I have learnt from bitter experience, Funerals are the best way to find out who is really your friend.....

Strange thing, on my Wifes side, there are very few family arguments.
They disagree, agree to disagree, and live with it, its not important, family is family, you cant agree on everything all the time.
And as a Family, they have both Celtic and Rangers fans in the same family......
Which can be highly amusing when they get a blethering.....

I would ask "Why Me", but then I know the universe has its own strange plans.

I am suffering a similar position in the club that I work.
Its a social club, and therefore has a committee to oversee....
I have served on that committee, I offered my expertise as a long served Barman and Landlord in an advisory role.
They did not want good advice.
They needed it, sure, but they never took it.
And when they did, someone else always tried to take the credit?...

Anyway, at one point they proposed an idea that was plainly a bad one, to include a certain beer in our range.
This beer was to keep one certain customer happy.....
This customer has been subject of a few discussions, they are a complainer, nothing is ever right for them, they expect "Extras" with everything?....
My opinion was that they either take whats on offer or take their custom elsewhere...
Some customers you can do without, especially when they start trying to run the show.

This customer repeatedly asks for this beer at the bar, when told we dont sell it, they repeatedly ask why.
They believed that selling that beer would shut them up.
When I pointed out that my cynical side expected that they would just find another product we dont sell to ask for, I was treated with suspicion.
They decided that I was overly cynical and ordered a crate or two of the beer in bottles to sell.
Fair enough, he consumed, eventually, the lot.....
But now when he comes to the bar, he requests that we sell other lines that that brewery produce......

I hate to say I told you so.......

However hard you try to please some people, they will continue to find ways to demand more.
If you do all the work, people will gladly let you.
If you ask others to help, they will respond with thats your job, and several reasons why YOU should continue doing your job......
Moral obligations my left [something]......
Legal Decent and Honest, everything else comes at premium rate.

I was once asked if I would cover a public holiday that I gad already stated I was not available for.
Double the hourly rate your offering and I may be tempted?...
At that rate we're interested, we will never offer that rate....
Your getting the idea.....

But you are doing "Charity work", you mention sabotage, pointing this certain person your way all the time IS sabotage.
Its also one of the reasons I am now not part of that committee....
Part of that committee is rather objectionable dealings with one supplier that is always trying to foist special offers on us.
Knowing how to say "No" is one of my business abilities.
They asked that I deal with this supplier.....
It took that supplier half an hour to understand the word "No"....
They HAD to deal out their sales pitch.
WE as a club do NOT want that product, it will not sell.
But they HAD to try and get us to do a trial run.....

My eventual out was to mention that my time was short and unless they were willing to drop their pitch and get to taking the order for what I actually wanted, I could find that elsewhere.

But no, they MUST just tell us of other special offers they have.

I put the phone down, and cursed loudly....
I have now refused to deal with that again, and that has resulted in me resigning my position on the committee, because "If you wont do it, we have no one else", and that is tantamount to Blackmail.
I dont work like that.
My professional opinion was change suppliers.....
But that is too much trouble for "Someone else", the only way to keep them happy would have been to take on all of their workload, and more as well.
I dont work like that.
If you cant take my advice, dont ask for it?...
Dont ask me to sit in a meeting and answer questions if the answer you get is not the one you wanted to hear, especially when the one you want to hear is "Let me do all the work........For free"


The guy who cuts the lawns around the club, reason he is doing it?.. the gardener they had fell out with Committee, so, he volunteered to cut the grass until they found someone else.

Guess what?...

Yep, they never bothered to find someone else... especially as this one doesnt complain as much and provides his own petrol for the mower?....

Volunteering brings out the best in people.
And the worst in others who start to expect "Free".....