Post by OziRiS on Jan 12, 2014 2:56:54 GMT
You're a dad. Have you always told you kids what they wanted to hear, or have you (like me) told them what they needed to hear?
Which makes for a better parent?
Which makes for a better parent?
I dont always tell them what they need to hear.
That is, until I can do it in a way that they will understand....
For instance, if say you had a child that was overweight, they need to be told so.
Do you do that in front of all their friends by shouting "Your FAT!"?....
Or do you calmly discuss why they dont fit their clothes any more, and why Other people have been shouting rude comments at them?...
Knowing what to say and when to say it, that is what makes the better parent.?... I think that is in agreement?....
My Dad always walked alongside me.
Never in front, never behind, but side by side.
We may occasionally take a different path, but sooner or later, we would be on the same path again, and side by side...
Its a respect thing.
We had the ability to tell each other things before they became a problem.
One sign on my Dads workshop was "Elephant Free Zone"
You had to know the secret....and that is a joke in its self...
The not-so-secret was that there was NEVER "An elephant in the room" that everyone was ignoring....
Both my Dad and Me HATED that idea... we could never understand how people could live like that?...
As part of my Dads will, that sign is now in my workshop.
In his memory, its family tradition, if any of us need "a quiet chat", its done under that sign....
Its the one place one of us can talk to another without anyone else interfering.....
I have always told my kids the truth.
I have always given good reason for any decision I make that involves them.
I have never used "Because I said so"
I have taken all the Good my Dad did and let my Kids thrive on it.
They agree with things my Dad did, and that is the main reason we miss him, he lives on through us, our straight talking allows us to exist in honesty with temperance.
Knowing you have to say "Something" is all well and good, but find the right way to say it, say it in a way that doesnt loose its meaning, but doesnt shatter dreams.
And most of all,
Oh what a tangled web we weave. When first we practice to deceive.
So, to make a long story short, you agree with me. The role of a parent (or any other leader) is to tell the people who are in your charge what they need to hear. Yes, you do it in a constructive way, at a constructive time, but you do it.
Let's take this preacher as a leader with 10.000 followers then. 99.997% of his followers aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing according to the program (the religion) they voluntarily signed up for. How much of a leader would he be if he didn't address that?
I'm a platoon 2IC with the Danish Home Guard. My soldiers are volunteers and yes, in some ways you have to speak to them in a different way than you would with a paid force. After all, they're volunteers. They can leave whenever they want. But if I catch 99% of my guys doing something wrong that I know they know full well how to do right, the gloves are off! My job as their leader is to make sure they have what they need and know what they need to know in order to complete an assignment and come home safely and that also means telling them when they're doing it wrong, whether they like it or not.