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Post by the light works on Feb 1, 2015 22:50:44 GMT
Q: Why are French streets lined with trees? A: so the Germans can march in the shade. Almost. The truth is that Napoleon's soldiers could do that! but that's not as funny. "for sale; WWII Italian rifles; pristine condition, only dropped once" |
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Post by Lex Of Sydney Australia on Feb 10, 2015 5:27:01 GMT
And how about this news headline. "Small plane crashes in cemetery. Thousands of bodies recovered" Is it "shallow joke" time again? Yes it would a-pear that it is.   |
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Post by silverdragon on Feb 15, 2015 8:27:11 GMT
Tree Mendous.
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Post by the light works on Feb 22, 2015 15:37:50 GMT
A vegan, an environmentalist and an atheist walked into a bar.
I know this because they basically announced it to everybody in the first three minutes of being there.
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Post by c64 on Feb 22, 2015 16:39:05 GMT
Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: To stomp out forest fires!
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stomp out flaming ducks!
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Post by silverdragon on Feb 23, 2015 7:41:09 GMT
Why do ducks fly south for the winter?...
Its too far to walk.
Have you seen the airfare for transporting ducks?...
Now excuse me, I have to go jiggle the Badgers.
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Post by c64 on Feb 23, 2015 11:20:45 GMT
Q: How to tell that there was an elephant in your fridge?
A: By the footprints in the butter!
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Post by silverdragon on Feb 23, 2015 11:42:18 GMT
Watch out for Red Mini's parked out side.
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Post by silverdragon on Feb 23, 2015 11:43:04 GMT
Ok, How DO you get four elephants in a red Mini?...
Two in the front two in the back.
Nothing else to see here.....
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Post by silverdragon on Feb 23, 2015 11:43:35 GMT
How do you tell if there are two elephants in your fridge?..
Two sets of footprints in the butter....
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Post by The Urban Mythbuster on Feb 23, 2015 17:41:47 GMT
Did you hear about the guy who threw his clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
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Post by silverdragon on Feb 24, 2015 8:55:41 GMT
How do you tell if THREE elephants have been in the fridge?...
Three sets?..
No, its that the door wont shut properly.
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Post by c64 on Feb 24, 2015 12:01:08 GMT
%
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue-elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant?
A: Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with
a blue-elephant gun.
%
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
%
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A: There's a footprint in the mayo.
Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There's two footprints in the mayo.
Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: The door won't shut.
Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There's a VW Bug in your driveway.
%
Q: Know what the difference between your latest project
and putting wings on an elephant is?
A: Who knows? The elephant *might* fly, heh, heh...
%
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
A: "The elephants are coming over the hill."
Q: What did he say when saw them coming over the hill wearing
sunglasses?
A: Nothing, for he didn't recognize them.
%
Q: What do you call the money you pay to the government when
you ride into the country on the back of an elephant?
A: A howdah duty.
%
Q: What's the difference between a duck and an elephant?
A: You can't get down off an elephant.
%
Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet?
A: To stamp out flaming ducks.
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Post by The Urban Mythbuster on Feb 24, 2015 13:48:53 GMT
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Post by c64 on Feb 24, 2015 14:05:42 GMT
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Post by The Urban Mythbuster on Feb 24, 2015 14:14:25 GMT
My plan with this is to burrow the song deep into places of your head that cannot be erased...  If that's not enough... |
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Post by c64 on Feb 24, 2015 14:23:56 GMT
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Post by silverdragon on Feb 25, 2015 9:41:45 GMT
I aint saying anything at all.
I will never admit to being "Woken up" by the rumble strip at the side of a motorway...
I was not asleep, but has almost slipped into hypnotic state by the very straight road ahead.
I will, however, admit to the stopping at the next service station and getting half hour nap before I continue...
But I kind of recognise the above situation....
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Post by the light works on Feb 25, 2015 15:29:33 GMT
I aint saying anything at all. I will never admit to being "Woken up" by the rumble strip at the side of a motorway... I was not asleep, but has almost slipped into hypnotic state by the very straight road ahead. I will, however, admit to the stopping at the next service station and getting half hour nap before I continue... But I kind of recognise the above situation.... I have had times I have driven more miles in a row than I ought; or otherwise spent more time awake than I ought. |
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Post by GTCGreg on Feb 25, 2015 16:10:31 GMT
I aint saying anything at all. I will never admit to being "Woken up" by the rumble strip at the side of a motorway... I was not asleep, but has almost slipped into hypnotic state by the very straight road ahead. I will, however, admit to the stopping at the next service station and getting half hour nap before I continue... But I kind of recognise the above situation.... I have had times I have driven more miles in a row than I ought; or otherwise spent more time awake than I ought. Been there, done that, not good. I found the best thing to stay alert on long trips is loud, fast music. Problem is, it does tend to cause your speed to creep up if you don't have a cruise control. |
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